And then we get drunk
And then we all get drunk
It’s another pub song about drinking
Half the songs you hear at Fest
Both the worst ones and the best
All discuss the subjects we’re about to mention

First a verse about my home
Some unknown time ago
Day and night, all we do is get plastered
The town, it is a bore
Always dirty dark and poor,
‘Cause we spent all our pay on our liquor

And then we get drunk
And then we all get drunk
It’s another pub song about drinking
Whisky, ale and/or gin
Is a virtue and/or sin
All that matters is it helps us down our sorrows

Moving to my family
Typic’ly a sight to see
I’m related to drunks, thieves, and lechers
Dad is probably a jerk
Sister might lie down for work
But don’t say a word about my sainted mother

And then we get drunk
And then we all get drunk
It’s another pub song about drinking
Oh, tequila, vodka, rum
We’ll pay almost any sum
Even if the Europeans didn’t have it

So it’s on to my wife
She’s the love of my life
Oh I hate her and all that she stands for
Don’t know why she gets so mad
I’m a drunken, cheating cad
She gets angry just because I’m always drinking

And then we get drunk
And then we all get drunk
It’s another pub song about drinking
Irish accents are a hit
Even if they sound like sh…
…amrock, blarney, leprechaun
It’s more authentic

The last verse is usually
All about mortality
Because fun’rals mean wakes and more drinking
Shooting, stabbing, old age
Fire or old-fashioned rage
Yet it’s never about alcohol poisoning…
[unhinged rant]

And then we get drunk
And then we all get drunk
It’s another pub song about drinking
Though we may all be dead
This song keeps running through our head
Repetition makes this song a nasty earworm

And then we get drunk
And then we all get drunk
It’s another pub song about drinking
Now our mugs we will clink
Give us tips so we can drink
One more chorus and a big chord for the ending