Would you find us more charming
If our auras were dark and brooding?
Would you find us more handsome
If we had pointy teeth protruding?
We don’t pine for platelets, we think that’s a plus
Yes, your jugulars are safe with us

We may not be vampires
We’re not vampires
Which makes us feel bad now and then
We may not be vampires
But we’re still men!

All those scenes in the movies
And the novels that you’ve been reading
Make the vampires seem awesome
But it’s all just a bit misleading
They aren’t all that special, with all due respect
They can be a royal pain in the neck

We may not be vampires
Still not vampires
Oh, when will this craze ever end?
We may not be vampires,
But we’re still men!

We don’t have issues with the sunlight
Mister Sun, please show down on me
We don’t need ninety SPF
Just a little zinc oxide and we’re good to go
And we won’t run away if we detect
A hint of garlic on your breath
Smells like pizza, want to get a pizza?

Must you hold it against us
That we don’t act like Nosferatu?
When you’re dreaming of romance
Have you thought of us? Well, you ought to
We don’t turn to bats when we take to the skies
We’re just humans, but we’re still awesome guys!

We may not be vampires
No somos vampires
We rarely go out after ten
We may not be vampires
But we’re still men!
We’re still men!